We all know Scripture tells us to be hospitable. Paul tells us that we all should be “practicing hospitality” (Romans 12:13).[1] The author of Hebrews warns us, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers” (Hebrews 13:2). Peter instructs his readers, “be hospitable to one another without complaint” (1 Peter 4:9).
But how do we do this? Furthermore, how do we teach and train others in our churches to do this? In this article I share a few dos and don’ts I’ve learned to teach our church in order to become a friendlier and more welcoming church.
DOS
Smile. A warm smile goes a long way. Nothing says “Hello” or “You are welcome here” more than a smile. As Mark Twain once said, “Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”[2]
Make eye contact. People visiting a church are often self-conscious about what they are wearing and how they look. We can help remove some of their anxiety about looks by looking at their eyes and not at their clothes. Looking at their clothes tells them we are judging them by what they wear; looking at their eyes tells them we appreciate who they are.
Ask if they know people part of the church. If visitors came to church because of a neighbor, coworker, or family member that invited them, then say it’s great to have them visit. If we know the visitor’s neighbor, coworker, or family member, we can start a conversation about the person that we each know.
Ask what it is that they like about the church. This question shows we are interested in learning more about the visitor. Instead of us trying to “sell” our church to the visitor, this allows the visitor to tell us why the church is important to them.
Display good signs. Be sure your signs are clear from the outside of the building. Make it clear which doors are entrances. Our church has a door often used as an entrance, but we lock it when the service begins for safety reasons. We have a sign on the door that says, “This door is locked at 10:30 AM when the service begins.” Make it clear where someone is supposed to walk after he parks his car.
Provide a paper bulletin. Do not expect visitors to download an app or follow your service on their phone when they intentionally came to church to be around people. You place a barrier between the church and the visitor when the visitor is required to download an app or scan a QR code in order to access information about your church. If we are serious about kindly welcoming new people to our church, then we will spend the time and money to provide the information we want them to have in a way that we can hand to them.
Place greeters near doors. I know it’s easy to overlook, but be sure you have a few people near each door so they can greet new people as soon as they arrive. Strategically ask people you have seen regularly arrive at church early to be greeters. Don’t make an announcement that you are looking for greeters because the notoriously late person might volunteer to greet people.
Encourage after church fellowship. A simple phrase spoken near the end of the service like, “Please don’t rush out today” or “We encourage you to linger after the service and enjoy time together” communicates to new people that your church wants to get to know them.
DON’TS
Don’t use your phone or tablet. People come to church to be with people. Nothing says, “we don’t care about you” more than someone who looks at her phone instead of greeting new visitors. When we look at our phone instead of engaging with people, it tells them that what is on our phone is more important than the person in front of us.
Don’t ask if someone is new. I was an associate pastor for six months at a church of about 200 people when I saw a 35-year-old man come to church alone. I had never seen him before—especially since there aren’t many 35-year-old men that come to church alone—so I walked up and said, “You look new to our church. Welcome!” He looked at me, clearly frustrated, and said he’d been going to that church for three years. Clearly he had not been at church for the six months that I’d been working there. A better way to have greeted him would have been, “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Christopher. How are you doing?”
Don’t point out visitors to the entire church in the service. Never ask your guests to stand so that everyone can see they are new. Most people visiting a church want to sit in the back and observe the service. Do not ask visitors to participate in the service on their first Sunday.
Don’t play music after the service. When we play background music after church it discourages people from talking among themselves and subtly tells them it’s time to leave. Instead, let there be silence in the church after the service. You’ll be surprised how the awkward silence is quickly filled with conversations among people.
Don’t use insider language. While we might think the language we use is easy to follow and clear, others may not understand what we say. One church advertised their ministry groups as “Six Eight Group” and “Nine Twelve Group.” A visitor might think the first group was for kids ages “6–8” and the second for kids ages “9–12.” But those numbers were meant to describe the grades, not age. The “Six Eight Group” was for kids in grades sixth to eighth grade. And the “Nine Twelve Group” was for kids in ninth through twelfth grade. The group names might appear simple to the ministry leaders, but are confusing to new visitors.
BECOMING MORE WELCOMING
None of these “dos” and “don’ts” are hard and fast rules for becoming a welcoming church. The most important element of becoming a welcoming church is cultivating an atmosphere that values new visitors.
Sometimes simple phrases in the welcome, announcements, or sermons make a big difference. Phrases such as, “If you are visiting with us for the first time” or “We are glad you decided to try out our church today” subtly shows you are open to new people at church and that they were welcome to be there.
Finding ways to incorporate stories into sermons about the experience of new people at your church is important as well. These stories show you value visitors and displays to your members the importance of visitors having a good experience at your church.
Most of all, show you love visitors because of God’s love. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7). We should communicate to visitors that we are glad they are with us, that we care for them, and that God loves them. This will help them feel valued and appreciated, which is the best and most effective way to be a welcoming church.
CONGREGATIONAL STUDY GUIDE
- How do we think visitors feel when they attend our church?
- What are we currently doing to make visitors feel welcome?
- What “dos” rom this article should we begin?
- What “donts” From this article Should we stop?
- How are we going to implement these changes?
[1] Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission.
[2] The New Dictionary of Thoughts (Standard Book Company, 1961), 625.