The poor character of church leaders is killing our churches. While in seminary I worked as a caddie at a private golf club for three years. That job provided lots of time to talk with my coworkers. Time after time they shared stories of disappointment and disgust about the church and Christians.
They talked about TV pastors getting rich from the pennies of poor elderly women. They talked about local pastors caught having affairs with women in the church. They talked about so-called internet pastors who fancied themselves as “apologists” that could disprove evolution when the pastor had no training or knowledge of basic science.
The poor character of the church leaders they knew about repulsed them from ever wanting to visit a church or become a Christian. We can talk about marketing tactics all we want, but until we fix the character issues within our church, no marketing efforts will work. Thankfully, the Bible gives us plenty of examples of how to be Christian leaders of good character. Some are examples to follow. Some are examples to avoid. Let’s look at one of those from the Old Testament.
Character in Genesis
Judah was outraged when he heard Tamar, the widow of his deceased son, had become pregnant because of prostitution. He demanded, “Bring her out, and let her be burned!” (Gen. 38:24, NLT).[1] What a shame to their family name! What an embarrassment for her! But this story exposes Judah’s poor character and his poor decisions, not Tamar’s.
Judah’s firstborn son was Er who married Tamar, but Er died. So Judah had his second-born son, Onan, marry Tamar, as was customary to continue the family name and keep their land secure. But Onan died too (Gen. 38:3-10). Judah’s only living son was too young to marry Tamar, so Judah told Tamar to go live with her parents and remain a widow until his youngest son, Shelah, could marry Tamar. Although “Judah didn’t really intend to do this because he was afraid Shelah would also die, like his two brothers” (Gen. 38:11).
When Shelah was old enough to marry, Tamar realized no arrangements had been made for them to wed (Gen. 38:14). So Tamar devised a plan. She put on a veil to disguise herself, sat beside the road, and waited for Judah. Judah thought that Tamar was a prostitute and told her he would pay her with a goat from his flock if she had sex with him (Gen. 38:14-17).
Tamar was smart. She asked Judah to leave his identification seal, cord, and his walking stick as a guarantee that he would bring the goat (Gen. 38:18). After their night together when Judah sent the goat to the woman he thought was a prostitute, she was gone (Gen. 38:20).
Three months later Judah heard that Tamar had “acted like a prostitute” and had become pregnant. In response Judah demanded, “Bring her out, and let her be burned!” (Gen. 38:24). But before anyone could kill Tamar she sent the seal, cord, and walking stick to Judah saying, “The man who owns these things made me pregnant. Look closely. Whose seal and cord and walking stick are these?” (Gen. 38:25).
Judah recognized his items and admitted, “She is more righteous than I am, because I didn’t arrange for her to marry my son Shelah” (Gen. 38:26[1] ). Judah’s poor character caused him A Godly character[2] would have eliminated a lot of pain, shame, and heartache for Judah[3] .
Judah’s Failure
There were three significant failures of Judah’s character. First, Judah never intended to do what he said he would do. His two older sons had died. He told his daughter-in-law, Tamar, that when his youngest son was old enough for marriage, he would allow them to get married. However, the text in parenthesis provides an insight into what Judah was truly thinking, “But Judah didn’t really intend to do this because he was afraid Shelah would also die, like his two brothers” (Gen. 38:11b).
Second, Judah didn’t maintain sexual purity. He had gone to the city of Timnah to supervise the shearing of his sheep (Gen. 38:12). While on that business trip he must have had time to spare and decided to pay for sex (Gen. 38:15-16). Without knowing it he paid for sex from his daughter-in-law!
Third, In addition to deceit, Judah did not follow Israel’s customs to protect property ownership and family lineage. When a married man died his brother was supposed to marry the widow and have children through her (Deut. 25:5-10). Judah was scared to do this because he thought his youngest son would die like his other two sons had died..
Defining Character
In a postmodern culture sometimes we are confused about what “character” is. Lets define it. The Dictionary of Bible Themes defines character, “The moral and mental features that define a person, whether good or evil. The term also means moral strength, which Scripture regards as something to be highly valued.”[2] The Concise Oxford English Dictionary defines character as “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.”[3]
As you can see from those two definitions, character is the reputation someone has based on her actions. As Christians we want to cultivate a righteous[4] character. Righteous character is good and ethical character that shows our love for people, as well as our love for God. One way we cultivate this type of character is by doing what we say we will do.—one that shows our love for people—as well as our love for God.[5] We cultivate that good ethical character by doing what we say we will do. Judah failed to do this .[6]
A Contrast in Character: Joseph
Joseph was the half-brother of Judah. As a teenager he didn’t always exhibit the best judgment. In one situation he gave a bad report to his father about his brothers pasturing a flock (Gen. 37:2). He told his brothers about a dream in which they bowed down before him (Gen. 37:5-8). (This meant Joseph would reign over his brothers.) And he also told his brothers and father about another dream he had in which the sun, moon, and stars were all bowing down before him (Gen. 37:9-11). One person told me Joseph in his younger years was “a little bit haughty,” and I agree.
But as Joseph grew older his character got better. His brothers, in their hate for Joseph, sold him to some Ishmaelite travelers, who eventually sold him as a slave to Potiphar in Egypt.
Joseph grew into a smart and handsome man. Joseph “succeeded in everything he did” while serving Potiphar (Gen. 39:2). Everything that Joseph did prospered (Gen. 39:3). Joseph soon found favor in Potiphar’s mind (Gen. 39:4) and he put Joseph in charge of everything that Potiphar owned. Joseph was so competent that Potiphar only decided what he was going to eat because Joseph took care of everything else (Gen. 39:6).
When Potiphar’s wife expressed her desire to have sex with Joseph (Gen. 39:7) he refused and tried to avoid her (Gen. 39:8-10). When Potiphar’s wife was alone with Joseph she grabbed him and demanded he have sex with her. But Joseph ran away from her (Gen. 39:12)! Potiphar’s wife lied and said that Joseph had tried to rape her, so Joseph was placed in jail (Gen. 39:13-20).
While in jail soon Joseph proved himself a faithful servant and good manager in jail, just as he had been under Potiphar. Soon the chief jailer put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners (Gen. 39:21-23). Later Joseph was released from jail and given responsibility by the Pharaoh of Egypt.
In Pharaoh’s service, Pharaoh put Joseph in charge of his court and all the people of Egypt took orders from him (Gen. 41:40). Joseph gathered food during the seven years of good crops in Egypt (Gen. 41:47-49). And when the crops stopped producing food and the people were hungry, they all came to Joseph because he had stored the extra food from the seven good years of harvests. When famine came, people from all over the earth came to Joseph and he sold food to them (Gen. 41:56-57).
During the severe famine Joseph’s brothers, which had sold him into slavery 13 years earlier, came to him asking him for food. Joseph told them to bring their families to live in Egypt so that Joseph could provide for them (Gen. 49:9-11). Which he did until his father died. DECISIONS THAT CAUSED JUDAH SHAME
Judah never intended to do what he said he would do. His two older sons had died. He told his daughter-in-law, Tamar, that when his youngest son was old enough for marriage, he would allow them to get married. However, the text in parenthesis provides an insight into what Judah was truly thinking, “But Judah didn’t really intend to do this because he was afraid Shelah would also die, like his two brothers” (Gen. 38:11b).
Judah didn’t maintain sexual purity. He had gone to the city of Timnah to supervise the shearing of his sheep (Gen. 38:12). While on that business trip he must have had time to spare and decided to pay for sex (Gen. 38:15-16). Without knowing it he paid for sex from his daughter-in-law!
In addition to deceit, Judah did not follow Israel’s customs to protect property ownership and family lineage. When a married man died his brother was supposed to marry the widow and have children through her (Deut. 25:5-10). Judah was scared to do this because he thought his youngest son would die like his other two sons had died.
DECISIONS THAT DEVELOP A BETTER CHARACTER
We need to do what we say we will do. Judah could have avoided a lot of embarrassment and shame if he would have simply done what he told Tamar he was going to do. Or if he would have been honest and told her he had no intention of marrying Shelah to her, she could have found another person to marry (see Ruth 4 for an example). But he did not. He said one thing knowing he intended to do something different. For us to be people of good character, we need to do what we say we will do.
We need to maintain sexual purity for a godly character. Sexual purity (especially among men) is an area most of us need to guard. In their book, Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time, the authors say, “Sexual sins are the termites in the walls and foundations of today’s marriages.” Sexual sin might be found in novels, movies, magazines, our thoughts, or how our eyes wander to places they shouldn’t. Sexual sin is difficult for everyone: men, women, marrieds, singles, young, and elderly. We must clasp Scripture to help us fight sexual sin and maintain a godly character.[7] We can memorize these verses to help us with sexual sin in our lives: Job 31:1; 1 Cor. 6:18-20; and 1 Thess. 4:3-7.[8]
We need to follow God’s commands for our character[9] . As Christians in a non-Christian world people should look at us and see that something is different. Paul told the believers in Philippi that even though they lived in the city of Philippi (which was part of the Roman Empire) they were “citizens of heaven” (Phil. 1:27; 3:20). Regardless of where we physically find ourselves, living as citizens of heaven should make us look different. Pastor and author Chuck Swindoll writes, “Professors, as well as pastors, corporate leaders, and those who engage in sales, need character.[10] [CS11] ” People should see a difference in us when they look at our lives and our character.[12]
DECISIONS DETERMINE OUR CHARACTER
Character counts. It effects our lives in more ways than we realize.[13] If we want to develop our character we should keep Warren Wiersbe’s words close at heart, “Life is built on character, but character is built on decisions. The decisions you make, small and great, do to your life what the sculptors chisel does to the block of marble.” A good character can save us from pain, embarrassment, heartache, and shame. We saw this in Judah’s story above. Good character is built on daily decisions[14] .
Cultivating Good Character for Christian Leaders
How can we cultivate a good character for our lives?
First, we need to do what we say we will do. Judah said one thing but planned to do something different. Judah could have avoided a lot of embarrassment and shame if he would have simply done what he told Tamar he was going to do. Or if he would have been honest and told her he had no intention of marrying Shelah to her, she could have found another person to marry (see Ruth 4 for an example). But he did not. He said one thing knowing he intended to do something different. But Joseph said he would help his brothers and he did help them multiple times (even when he didn’t have to, and when know one would blame him for not helping them). For us to be people of good character, we need to do what we say we will do.
Second, we need to stay away from sin. Sin can be blatant gossip about others, uncontrollable anger, drunkenness, or envy of others. Judah sought sex with a prostitute while traveling. Joseph fled the sexual advances of his boss’ wife. There are several things we can do to stay away from sin. The place to start is to not put ourselves in front of temptations. If we struggle with eating a healthy diet we shouldn’t go to the grocery store while hungry. Or a better idea is to only shop at a health food store. Doing everything possible to remove temptations is the best way to start. Another way we can stay away from sin is to pick specific verses of Scripture to memorize that will help us stay away from sin. When we feel tempted we should quote that verse in memory to help us combat the temptation. Another way we can stay away from sin is to surround ourselves with healthy people that are good influences in our lives.
Third, we need to look different. Judah was “one of the guys.” He had a business and enjoyed the luxuries of travels. Joseph stood out among everyone he was around. Potiphar, the jail warden, and Pharaoh all recognized that something was different about Joseph. As Christians in a non-Christian world people should look at us and see that something is different. Paul told the believers in Philippi that even though they lived in the city of Philippi (which was part of the Roman Empire) they were “citizens of heaven” (Phil. 1:27; 3:20). To live as a citizen of heaven while on earth means we should pray unceasingly, participate in a faith community, and provide for our family and church. Regardless of where we physically find ourselves, living as citizens of heaven should make us look different.
Character counts for church leaders. It effects our lives in more ways than we realize.[15] We saw this in Judah’s story above. Hopefully we can cultivate a good character and be like Joseph.
[1] Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.
[2] Martin H. Manser, Dictionary of Bible Themes: The Accessible and Comprehensive Tool for Topical Studies, (London: Martin Manser, 2009).
[3] Catherine Soanes and Angus Stevenson, eds., Concise Oxford English Dictionary (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2004).
You did a wonderful job retelling the story in a concise and easy to follow way, well done!
What is “godly” character?
It might be nice to contrast Judah with someone else in the Bible who had good character (even if it wasn’t consistent). Maybe Abraham agreeing to sacrifice Isaac and following through up until the last minute when God told him to stop. What did this obedience produce in him? And how does growing our good character and obedience to God relate? You can add something like this further down in the article where you’re talking about decisions that develop better character.
Christian jargon – please expand in laymens terms, or in a fresh way?
Great!
Excellent!
There may be other things too. Like surrounding ourselves with healthy people that are good influences, not putting ourselves in front of temptations (perhaps Judah could have brought a friend/servant along to keep him accountable or not have such idle time on his hands, or avoided the main entrance where all the prostitutes hang out.
Your first and third points under this section are more general, and this one is very specific. Consider generalizing this section to be how we need to not be sinning to create godly character. You can still keep the content about Judah’s specific sexual sin, but can round out the section to cover more than just that, so it resonate with more readers.
What are these commands?
I’m not sure this quite flows. Why only professors, leaders, and sales people? Shouldn’t everyone? And “character” is not what we need, but specifically “good character”. 🙂
[CS11]I deleted it. 😊
Totally agree!
I wonder if there is a way to make this more practical for our readers. How are they to develop character?
I’m not sure the “daily decisions” angle is that clear. It seems like earlier you argue that building good character is all about follow-through and doing what you say you will do. This isn’t usually a daily act that begins and ends in 24-hrs, but something that may resurface days, weeks, or months later. When Romans 5:4 says “We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” So is good character built on perseverance? And how does this relate to your description of following-through and it’s link to perseverance?
I wonder if there is a way to make this more practical for our readers. How are they to develop character?