The words “I’m sorry” are always hard to say, but perhaps words harder to say are “I forgive you.” Whether we are five years old or fifty years old, it’s always hard to say “I forgive you” especially when that same person has hurt us, cost us money, or wasted our time.
In this article we’re looking at a forgiveness story. A slave has ran away from his master, he became a Christian, then was sent back to his master, saying “I’m sorry” and hoping the slave owner says “I forgive you.”
The letter we know as “Philemon” was written to a man named Philemon who was a wealthy member of the Colossian church which met in his house (Philemon 2). Paul calls Philemon a “beloved brother” and “fellow worker” (Philemon 1).Philemon was likely a prominent member of the church of Colossae (Philemon 1, 2; cf. Col 4:2) and likely had been saved under Paul’s ministry several years earlier in Ephesus (Philemon 19).
APPLAUSE
Paul begins his letter commending Philemon this way, “because I hear of your love and of the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints” (Philemon 5).
The effects of Philemon’s faith in Jesus and love for all the saints is explained in the following verses, “and I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ’s sake. For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.” (Philemon 6–7) The “fellowship” (v. 6) here means much more than just enjoying someone else’s company. It refers to the mutual sharing of all of life because of the mutual bond and faith they have in Christ. The word “effective” (v. 6) here describes Paul’s desire for Philemon’s actions to send a powerful message to others about forgiveness.
You might have noticed that Paul gives Philemon a reputation to live up too. I don’t think he’s buttering him up or trying to manipulate him. But I do believe he’s reminding Philemon of the godly character that Philemon has.
APPEAL
In the middle of this letter Paul makes his request based on two situations.
The Earthly Problem
Paul’s request involves a person named “Onesimus.” Paul writes, “I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my imprisonment” (Philemon 10). Onesimus was a common name for slaves that meant, “useful.”
Onesimus was not a believer when he ran away from Philemon, but Onesimus apparently had met Paul while Paul was in house arrest in Rome and Onesimus became a Christian. The trip from Colossae to Rome would have been a 1,000 mile trip by land and water. Many slaves would flee to Rome when they ran away from their masters because the city of Rome had 1,000,000 people living there and was an easy place to get lost among all the people.[1] The problem was that Onesimus had broken the Roman law (running away) and Onesimus had probably also defrauded his master (stealing).
Paul knew this had to be dealt with so he sent Onesimus back to Philemon. Onesimus was traveling to Colossae with Tychicus, who was returning to Colossae with the letter to the Colossians (Colossians 4:7-9). But, there had been a change in Onesimus, “who formerly was useless to you, but now is useful both to you and to me.” (Philemon 11). Onesimus is described by Paul as a “child”[2] in the faith to Paul (v. 10) and a “brother” (v. 16).
Paul does a play on words here in Greek that comes through in English as well. Onesimus in Greek means “useful.” In the past Onesimus “was useless.” In other words, Useful was useless. It’s like calling a woman Grace who always holds grudges or a man Earnest that never tells truth. In the past Onesimus had forsaken his name, but Paul says Onesimus “now is useful.”Useful was formerly useless, but now Useful is useful. Onesimus had been worthless until God got a hold of him and radically transformed him by God’s grace.
This is what Paul wants Philemon to consider. “I have sent him [Onesimus] back to you in person, that is, sending my very heart, whom I wished to keep with me, so that on your behalf he might minister to me in my imprisonment for the gospel; but without your consent I did not want to do anything, so that your goodness would not be, in effect, by compulsion but of your own free will” (Philemon 12–14).Paul wants Onesimus for ministry, but only wants to do it if Philemon allows.
From Paul we learn that we value relationships more than requests. In this context Paul values his relationship with Philemon more than his request of Philemon. Effectually, “This is a request that I have, but I don’t want my request to effect our friendship.” As Christians we need to value our relationships more than requests.
The Heavenly Provision
Paul writes, “For perhaps he was for this reason separated from you for a while, that you would have him back forever, no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord” (Philemon 15–16).
Here we see God’s plan. The word “Perhaps” indicates Paul believes God has had a part in all of this. Paul knows wrong occurred as Onesimus was a runaway slave, now God is using it for good. As one commentator stated on this passage, “God’s sovereign grace works in all human affairs.”[3] Paul suggests there has been a deeper significance and purpose of Onesimus’s running away.
The great reformer John Calvin wrote, “If we are angry on account of offences committed by men, our minds ought to be soothed, when we perceive that those things which were done through malice have been turned to a different end by the purpose of God.”[4] I think that’s what Paul’s telling Philemon, Your experience was bad, but maybe God is using it for good.
From Paul we learn that we value heavenly providence more than luck. Someone asked one of the members of our church if she believed in luck as a Christian woman. What a great question! As Christians we don’t necessarily believe in earthly luck, but we do believe in divine providence.
With God there are no accidents and I think we can say there is no luck. Imagine the conversation occurring between Paul and Onesimus the first time they met in Rome:
Onesimus: “I’m from Colossae.”
Paul: “Wow, I’ve never been there, but when I was in Ephesus I met a guy from Colossae. Perhaps you know him.”
Onesimus: “Maybe I do. What’s the guy’s name?”
Paul: “His name is Philemon. Do you know him?”
Onesimus: “Yes, I do, in fact.”
Paul: “How do you know him?”
Onesimus: “I used to be his slave.”
Paul: “Wow, you must have earned your freedom or he let you go?”
Onesimus: “No, I am here because I ran away from him and I am here hiding from him.”
Paul: “Well, let me ask if you know someone else I’ve met. He’s not from Colossae. He’s from Judea, and his name is Jesus. . .”
In one of my favorite books pastor Warren Wiersbe writes, “If you are yielded to Christ, your life is not a series of accidents; it is a series of appointments.”[5] God is in everything we do. When we run, He allows us to run because He knows where He wants us to end up. I believe that’s Paul’s message to Philemon here: Philemon, what are the odds that your runaway slave ends up in the house that I’m in, and that I got to share the Gospel w/him and that I am able to send him back to you. Philemon, God is in this. Because of this we need to allow the unique way that God orchestrates things to influence what He might want us to do.
ACCOUNT
But what about the cost of this? Philemon might be wondering: I have been hurt, shamed, and been stolen from. Paul addresses that next.
Here we read about Paul’s offer. “But if he [Onesimus] has wronged you [Philemon] in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account;” (Philemon 18).When Onesimus left, he likely stole money or goods (or both) in order to travel 1,000 miles to Rome. Philemon had a right to be upset his slave left, especially if Onesimus stole from Philemon.
Paul proposes a solution, “charge that to my account”(v. 18).He essentially says, “charge that to me” or “I will stand in his place” or “Put what he owes on my account.”
Paul then signs his pledge, “I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand, I will repay it (not to mention to you that you owe to me even your own self as well)” (Philemon 19). It takes more than love to solve a problem and here Paul says he’ll help pay it with money.
It was common in the first century to have an “amanuensis” who would write a letter while someone dictated it to someone else. Yet here Paul wants to emphasize his promise so he grabs the pen and writes himself.
Paul then describes his hope “Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, since I know that you will do even more than what I say” (Philemon 20–21). Paul wants to have Onesimus welcomed back gracefully, to have Onesimus minister to others in a significant way, and to have Onesimus be forgiven.
From this we learn from Paul that we value reconciliation more than money. Money almost always complicates situations. Money creates conflict in families, churches, business, schools, and many other areas of life. Yet Paul values reconciliation between these two people more than money. And that’s an important lesson for us to apply as well. We need to value reconciliation with others more than the money that might have caused problems.
So what happened as a result of this letter sent in AD 63? In AD 110 we possibly learn about what happened.
CONCLUSION[6]
In AD 110 Ignatius of Antioch—previous Christian bishop of Antioch and personal associate of the apostle John—was a prisoner being taken to Rome. He was transported by ten Roman soldiers to be fed to the lions because he refused to renounce his faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord and God and King. Ignatius and the Roman soldiers stopped in Smyrna for a short period of rest which gave Ignatius an opportunity to have visitors. Three prominent Christian leaders came to visit Ignatius from three different cities. These three men were Polybius who was the bishop of Tralles, Damas who was the bishop of Magnesia, and a guy named Onesimus who was the bishop of Ephesus.
We don’t know from Scripture what the result was from this letter that Paul sent to Philemon, but a period of time later, just 100 miles away from Philemon’s home in Colossae a man named Onesimus shows up as bishop in the nearby church in Ephesus. Many scholars believe this Onesimus is the same man Paul wrote about in his letter to Philemon. Apparently Onesimus was forgiven by his slave owner, became a prominent spiritual leader in Ephesus, and with this we conclude that an old friend gave Onesimus a fresh start.
[1] M. Reasoner, “Rome and Roman Christianity” (pp. 850-855) in Dictionary of Paul and His Letters (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 1993),p. 851.
[2] περὶ τοῦ ἐμοῦ τέκνου / “for my child” is a term of endearment which Paul has used elsewhere to refer to Timothy (1 Tim 1:2; 2 Tim 1:2) and to refer to Titus (Tit 1:4). AT Robertson says this is a “tender and affectionate” reference to Onesimus (A.T. Robertson, Word Pictures in the New Testament [Nashville, TN: Broadman Press, 1933]).
[3] Larson, Knute Larson, I & II Thessalonians, I & II Timothy, Titus, Philemon, vol. 9, Holman New Testament Commentary (Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2000) p. 407.
[4] John Calvin, Commentaries on the Epistles to Timothy, Titus, and Philemon (Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software, 2010) p. 356.
[5] Warren Wiersbe, The Bumps Are What You Climb On (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2016),48.
[6] This conclusion is adapted from Charles Swindoll, Swindoll’s Living Insights: Philippians, Colossians, Philemon, vol. 9 (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale, 2017), pp. 199, 202.